Every time I get one of these “reminders”, [of all that I’ve failed to become] it never ceases to amaze me how obscure my thoughts are — be it concerning where I am or how I’m doing. The goals remain the same, but the definitions change. Recently, I read 20–25 pages of a book, and it felt like I was an entirely new person. Just from reading a few new ideas.
We humans have no idea whatsoever of what we’re truly capable of. It’s like we create a parallel timeline every time we make a choice — and every second wasted, or every wrong choice made, takes you farther and farther away from the “ideal” timeline.
However temporary these feelings may be — largely due to my failure to take action on them — they always leave an impact, tangible or not.
The real question is: how do you make this feeling a constant in your life?
I’m sure for some people it already is, maybe triggered by some life-changing experience.
Among the rest, I can see why some people are okay with splurging insane amounts of money on exceptional pieces of art. As I see it, it’s not for the art itself but for what the art represents — or more accurately, what it reminds you of:
Dreams. Excellence. Undying legacy.
Something larger than your everyday life.
Maybe it reminds them of the stories that led to its creation — the sacrifices, or the faith needed to make such beautiful things happen. To remind them there’s always more to give.
I’ve never seen myself as someone exceptional. The streak of sub-optimal results has now become so long that it’s buried even the question of whether I have any innate talent. And yet, I’ve come to accept and appreciate this opportunity. Despite not being the smartest in most rooms, I’ve never genuinely felt like my ceiling was limited.
The bar set by society today low-enough that there’s really no need to be a genius to succeed. I’d even say longevity is more important than hard work in many cases — which is preposterous, to be honest.
Only against the truly exceptional — the relentless and committed — do I feel an inherent gap in capability.
I was watching the match between Peco and Kazama. It reminded me of why I liked this anime so much in the first place.
I’ve felt like Peco before in my life — carefree, playful, sudden bursts of inspiration — but deep down, I’ve always wanted to be in Kazama’s shoes.
Even if just for a fleeting moment.
To be relentless. To be unwavering.
To be so great it starts feeling like a curse.
And then — to wait for Peco, like Kazama did.
Stranded in your own solitary, unending chaos.
But to keep moving forward, blindly if needed.
And wait for the hero to come save you.
To make you human again.
To be great — and to be defeated by someone even stronger.
To find pleasure in such a defeat.
To even become worthy of such a feeling.
To find those who’ll inspire me to start again —
and every time I feel like I am enough,
remind me how fragile and wrong I am.
“Humans can fly. And the strongest opponents make you fly the highest.”
— Peco
Hating Time 
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